Hi yup so I don't know why I'm here but hi. 

Since no one is into blogger now, shall blog and rant then! I guessed one main reason I'm here is because I couldn't find Someone to talk to. I mean everyone is busy preparing for prelims and there's me. Slacking for the whole day and literally doing nothing. People once said that those people that got hardworking in their lower sec life and slacking away their upper sec life are dumb people. Guessed I'm one of them. Couldn't catch up in class because I'm slower than the others and are those kind that need to work ten times more to achieve the same grade as them. Yup life is unfair, like always. 

Okay so alot of things have been happening recently. Looking at my previous post, hmmm hahhaha why am I so funny. Ok anyway it's weird. I don't get jealous or having shitty feelings when he told me about it. Yup, not even a little pissed or whatever. I don't know why. Ok next. 

It's been close to two weeks since I DPA-ed and I haven't receive any single email or call. And it's so frustrating when my phone vibrates and I thought it was from np but it wasn't. I don't know where else should I go if even CMC and Chinese studies don't accept me. I'm not doing the best in Chinese, but at least I have the passion for it. Rather than accounting and business course that 90% of my friends are aiming for. Friends kept asking me to be patient and wait for it, I want to. But I can't. Seeing all my friends going for interview already, and me? Yup still waiting. STILL. 

Moving on. Exams. One of the biggest problems I'm facing right now. I hate how exams decides our future. So, what? Flunked this exams and you lose to others already? At this kind of age? With this kind of stress? Always trying my best to make my parents proud. But nope, not even once did I put in all my effort. Study for five minutes and rest for one hour. I'm like that, procrastinating always. And then regret when the results come out. There's once where I felt like dropping Amaths. And guess what? People start judging that I did well and still drop? Attention seeker they think? Wow I cannot handle the stress like how you all did. My three hour of studying is equivalent to all of your one hour of studying. Really. And no one understands you know. Only one did. The one that I don't expect to,  understand. 

Done ranting. Sleep now and homework tomorrow. Wasted one weekend not studying again. How unproductive, janelle. 

" And just when I think I'm over you... You text me. "

Okay so things just happened too fast and I can't catch up with it. I know I should be thankful to my bffs for... helping . It's like the biggest surprise and present from them I guessed.What if... I mean WHAT IF my bffs didnt did all this? Does it mean that we wouldn't even talk forever? You know, its like.. sometimes it's not the person you miss, it's the feelings you had when you communicate with them. But I'm still glad we'd still talk about stuffs (': And I know everything in life is so temporary. If things are going good, enjoy it because it won't last forever.That is why I've been cherishing every good moment i have with everyone.

Okay so back to the topic, I felt so bad. So these few days, when my phone vibrates and it's not from you, I just ignores the notifications and continue doing other stuffs. And there is once when one asked me why am I not replying to his whatsapp noti but still going online and offline. But, he gotta know, I just prefer talking to him than him.

So I had this very idiotic conversation that I loved it alot. It's like the "shortest reply" conversation I ever had and I'm not even angry or pissed off with it. In fact, I find it amazing that this conversation could even last continuously for a few days already. And guessed what, we just stop replying and continue for the next day naturally. (':

Okay so moving on.. Sunday, me joy and laymei planned to go out but in the end, they gave me an advanced birthday celebration and surprises. They came to my house and freaked me out alot heheh. The board and presents were AMAZING i swear haha. After that we were deciding what movie to watch at tamp and jenelle & anryl surprises me from the back awwwww. Then we watched the movie and went to changi city point to slack and took many many photos. And we started catching the aeroplanes in the sky and "eat' it LOL. All in all, i really loved that 25112012 alot! And I haven't upload the presents gave by my bffs yet, but thanks guise, for everthing you all had done! Love yaaa!

Exactly 2 weeks already. Sighhhhhh.
Ok and i actually dream of you wishing me on 29nov and..... Ahhemm yup. But i know 梦是现实的反射 sighh.
So last saturday i went to meet some of the girls in xjx and we collected our led boards! It's really really cool i swear! ^.^
Then there is like LEAPS for this two weeks and I'm actually enjoying it alot because i know i need to cherish this moment before the real holidays start. And i really don't wish to end school y'know ): i still wants to see all my friends. Haish.
Okok shall end here! Take a look at the LED board when the light is not on!

No. Nobody knows that I'm upset. Acting emotional, trying to get attention and all. This is all I get from everyone. Do you know that feeling when you are super ultra sad and everyone says you are acting and doesn't seems to care? That feeling is terrible. But i know I'm partly at fault too. No one ever cares and ask about what happen. Maybe, only some does. No one knows how frustrated i was. I don't say, because everyone thought I'm kidding and playing around.
And what's with those words YOU'VE said. I'll go away, that's a sure thing. The first day, you said that. The second day, you said the same thing. Great.
I'm online. I saw you typing. And then last seen. Without any message sent out. What pulls you back from sending it? Omfg fts.
I'm a coward. I admit. When i run into problems, the only thing i do is "ylbfb, snbb, AF.." i think it's time for me to face all the problems I'm having.

EXAM IS OVER YO GUYSSS.
But through this few years of education, this is the first time I'm so afraid to get back my results.
I need to be confident. I know I can do it.
I know it's possible for me.
Well so recently, have been mugging like mad for exams.
But now, I'm not relaxing yet. I'm afraid, really afraid.
But like what joycelyn said " the paper is already done and we can't change anything about it. So just pray for it. "

And happy janelle is happy.
Hehehehe. Idk why I'm feeling this way. I know I'm not supposed to. I know it's just wrong to think this way. I know. But I can't seem to ignore it.

This. Exactly how I feel.

So this is some of the pictures we took during the XJX outing!
The rest of the photos is in my phone and i have a hard time transferring over ):

Okay anyways, EOY is around the corner.
Time really flies.
In less that 5 months, we will be the senior in the school and taking our O's real soon.
I think everyone have started revising halfway through alrdy, yet Im the only one that watches SNBB and YLBFB every single day, whatsapp-ing, using twitter and stuffs.
I need motivation. I need a study buddy.
Everyone seems to be those kind that can concentrate better when they are on their own, while Im like those that need people beside me and study together.
Hate it when i always rely on others so much.
Oral on friday for me was quite screwed up.
I got LLP as my teacher and it's like so awkward.
Talked halfway, and she smiled for no reason.
Maybe there is, maybe i said something wrong, maybe i said something funny.
But what's done has been done, no point fretting about it.
Shall bucked up for my MT paper 1 instead.

Talked on whatsapp group with belinda and some girls today.
The girl that belinda talks about is really.. idk how to say.
Idk how she can bear with that girl. If it's me, i will just leave her and thats it man, end of our friendship.
So they were talking about xiaogui's world tour concert in 28 nov in taiwan.
Which is like on his birthday that day.
WTF i want to fly there siaa.
I hope he come to singapore on 29 November and held a autograph session or concert here.
Then maybe there's like a chance for me to take picture with him.
Sighh, taiwan is always the one that have the most advantage one.

And it's like midnight now, and i can't sleep. Drank coffee five minutes ago, idk what for.
Now, im wide awake. And my phone is so quiet.
Sighhh, okayy and after exams, I'm going to do so many stuffs with my friends.
Shopping with friends, go for xiaogui's event with XJX, chiong snbb, ice skating with primary school clique, chalet or BBQ with 6C'09 and watch already famous.
So many things to look foward to after exams.
Okay gonna try to sleep now, goodnight!

Its already midnight, and i couldn't fall asleep.
So many things on my mind now.
Looked through some of the xiaogui events photo I've taken. I miss that alot.
Really wants to cry when i see those pictures, the way he smile and looked into my camera.
But yes, yesterday (saturday) was a boring day at home.
My stomach can't stop torturing me.
Did some math hw and then use comp the whole day.
And I guess only BFB cheers me up. (okay yes. I know i've said that for how million times.) AND YES, I should stop mentioning gui for like one week.
I feel so annoying sometimes, bombing people with gui stuffs.

Aside of all this, I found out that i hadn't blogged about Beijing stuffs.
I hope after 10 years down the road, I would actually still remember my blog and look through every single post, about what i did in beijing, my daily life stuffs and some childish acts i did by venting things out here.
I'm really afraid of forgetting what i did now after 10 years, so yes, that's an advantage having a blog.
Okay so i shall start with Beijing first.

OHH WAIT. FOR THOSE THAT FINDS IT  ANNOYING, UHMM DONT READ, CUZ IT'S GOING TO BE LONG POST. SORREHHHHHH.

Actually, Im starting to forget those fun times I had. Like not remembering every single thing.
But yeah, start with a more interesting one first.
So yes..
-Basically we went there, check in to the hotel and then settle our things.
-Then the next three days we went to some middle school and made friends with the students there. All of them were friendly and fork their own money out and treat us eat.
-And at first all of them didn't know that we knew how to speak chinese. Then they talk with us with all those wierd language.
-My awesome groupmates, Lifang, Mavis, Jinhong and Jiahui.
-Hotel room 1126 (w/ Lifang)
-First night was awkward with Lifang, we were like "err, you bathe first", "oh..ok thanks" Then after the second or third day we were more bonded in school then at night, we were like "eh i call mavis come here ah", "HAHAHAHA OKAYYYY" .
-Then I still remember that mavis and kerina were like those hyper girls that brings me into the group even more and then they start with those silly dares and make me dance on the bed, roll on the floor singing "im sexy and i know it", look into the mirror and laugh and yes the most memorable one comes in... kiss them. LOL and we pranked jingfu. We went like " you want buy bra? A,B,C or D? LOL"
-After that night, we went to each other room, like 1 day mavis and kerina's, 1 day mine and lifang's.
-Then there was once when all of us were lying on bed and then we talk and talk then suddenly very quiet, lol then i realised everyone were tired. Then kerina and mavis just slept on our room. And guess what, i woke up in the middle on the night just to double check that I've not roll down the bed. And kerina was sleepin beside me, Im so afraid that she might just kick me off the bed.
-So after that, the most memorable one is also the one where my group climbed the great wall. The stairs were super steep and it's like if you never hold the pole properly, you might just roll off. And then we took group photos before climbing. My group also did cheers before that, hahah the special ones. We went like " group 6 x3" Then off we go! As my group is the last group, we were the last one to climb. Everybody is like way infront of us already. So Ms Joy Ng followed us! Jinhong were like so insane, he went so high and then left the rest of us behind. Then Ms Ng told us to rest awhile, then continue climbing. I climbed till the second level ( like maybe from esso to ngee ann sec, with really high steps non stop which needs you to carry your leg up like 90 degrees, imagine that) then rest with Ms Ng and Jiahui while mavis and lifang went to level three and came down! Then Ms Ng were really kind enough to motivate us to climb further. And she treat us icecream!! So sweet of her i swear. Then we chatted for awhile at the top and then went down to gather with the rest. She was really nice, she kept on saying "becareful people" then keep on turning back to check on us.
-And the last memorable thing was the last night in the hotel! There was one incident where people overseltp and were almost late for the bus. Then got really big scoldings from LLP and Mr Sui. Then after that, my roome xchanges room cards with mavis's room so that if one of us overslept, the other one could come into our room and wake us up. Then there was once where we bought the wrong room card out. We bough both mavis's room card out then we left our room card in our room. Then we need to go to the lobby at night by ourselves and mr sui to change cards. And he damn funneh, go ATM withdraw money. LOL we almost forgot he from china. And every guy in china have the same accent as him, thenn the whole 28 of is always joke that he's found everywhere. Ohh and one night, we (M,LF,K) actually planned to soak our legs together. But bcuz me and LF always bathe very slow then Kerina and Mavis soak at their room first then come watch us soak. LOL WHUT. Then we eat instant noodle while we soak. The hotness of the water is like OMGGG. Then we still left some money then we go and buy cake to celebrate our last night with Nikki and Jiahui along. Then we partied at mavis's room. After eating, we lied on the bed immediately and everyone of us tried really hard to stay awake. Then Jiahui cannot take it then she say " i go sleep first uh." Then we were like, " ya me tooo. " LOL. Then everybody else went back. But after that, me and LF dont dare to sleep cuz she scared later the phone battery baozha. Damn funneh .
- OHH AND YES. We got scolded by mr sui for 3 times. ughhh. He super unreasonable I swear.
-And we saw LQQ, but i didn't go to mr sui's room and chatted with her tho'. Such a pity... but she's really pretty!
Yeah and thats it.
I hope down the road, 10/20 years, when i see this, there will still be an image in my mind.
Dont ever forget anything, janelle.
And Junjie said after 10 years, the 28 of us should go back to Beijing again to find our friends there.
Im really touched to hear that and I hope we could, although the chances of it is like 0.1%.

Heheh okay so in conclusion, the trip were really a fun and memorable one.
That's a good thing if you sign up for a school trip!
You get to know more friends from different level, different streams!
OKAY GOODBYE. (:

Its different already. I keep re reading it and realised that you are serious about it. Dont say things when you dont mean it. Im serious, really. SERIOUS AND I MEAN IT. I rather choose to know an ugly truth then a pretty lie.

If i have the ability to go taiwan, i would fly there right now. I guess only xiaogui could make me happy.

Im not your dog. Hahaha. Okay no more stuff about you from this time onwards. Dont wanna waste my precious time for you, bitch.
But i felt really upset when all my friends thinks that im just hating you for no reasons.
They just dont know what you did to me. If i were to tell them, well, let's see whose fault is it.
Asshole.

I'm so in love with this picture.

I miss my Beijing cliques.
I miss the late nights spent.
I miss the cakes we bought for supper.
I miss how we make each other stay awake.
I miss how they always followed my actions.
I miss how we teased one another.
I miss the food there.
I miss my buddy there.
I miss the tour guide.
I miss how the tour guide say good de nite to us.
I miss the way he laugh like some kid.
I miss the freedom there.
I miss everything there.

Everything in Singapore is way too stressed.
I want to smile like how the kids there were smiling.
No stress or anything.
I dont mind forking out my own money and go there again with the rest.
It's way worth it.
Like what one of them mention " I dont regret going for the interview. "
I dont know where I got the courage to go for the interview.
Maybe because I thought beijing is near taiwan.
But it really is.
During one of their geography lessons, one of the students showed me the map they are learning about.
I scanned through, and I saw the word Taiwan.
What if the map we, geog students, are having includes taiwan ?
I swear I would be paying much more attention in the lessons.
Im considering to migrate to china next time.
If I have the money, the time to do so, I definitely would.

Beijing- the life that I always wanted.

Hi peeps!
It's been ages since I've updated my blog!
So yeapp, recently I went to Beijing and it was a hell lot of fun!
Make friends with different level, different classes!
All the 27 of them were really friendly and kind. I guessed we bonded really well!
Especially me with my awesome beijing cliques!
Shall blog about more details some other days when Im free!

And last friday and saturday, xiaogui came to Singapore and we went to see him!
It was like an awesome only!
We went to the airport and I swear he was in a good mood.
Before fetching him, I heard that he went to some other countries and some fans stepped on his shoes which made him really upset.
Adding on, all the photos taken by the fans that day were him being very expresionless.
Surprisingly, when we fetch him, I could see the smile from his face. Woohoo.
Shall upload next time! (:

On saturday,
We went to eastpoint to see JOL artistes!
Wentwith the awesome girls that I've met on twitter with joycelyn!
Some of them were really friendly!
Made some really good friends like jiahui, michelle, jiamin and anne.
The rest weren't so close but i hope i would bond with them during our next outing, KTV maybe?
Oh and yess, there were no sense of awkwardness at all, like what Belinda have told me.

But some bitch just have to ruin my day.
I thought i wont be seeing her already, but who knows.
Not saying any of my girls in the whatsapp group.
Just someone that talks bad about me on facebook, like who the fuck are you to say about me.
Cold replies? I do it back to you, know that feeling already?
Late replies? I'm not feeling well on that day, and what do you expect? Replying you immediately? Who do you think you are?
Copied what I post on weibo, i mention him, you also mention him. Wow, amazing seriously.
Seeing me being with a group of friends, you also want to make one group.
So despo for what. Annoying bitch.
I know you are just trying to make me angry and jealous huh.
She just pass you the poster, and you need to post on weibo acting so friendly and BITCHY? Uhmm.
Attention seeker please.
You post something on facebook, people asked questions and you felt annoying? Then why do you post it in the first place.
Fucking brainless.
I dont care if you see this, it doesnt matter at all already.
Two sided people. Still can act like nothing happen and sms me.
3 words for you. Good. Acting. Skills.
Im not replying, i want to see what you can still say about me. Go on.

Okay done ranting. Need to sleep now and choir tomorrow at 8am! xx

Goodnight!

Hi people. In such a bad mood this few days.
Really tired of acting like nothing has happened infront of everybody.
Okay.. I need to chill I swear. Nothing is going right.
People that used my phone to see my messages, photo album, twitter and etc without asking my permission has fucking no manners at all. Like where is my privacy?!
Random but yeahh, this is really annoying I swear. Tempted to strangle them.
Recently, I realized something.
I get well along with GM than with my schoolmates.
It's really weird. Maybe because GM and I have the same interest.
They seems to know me better, and I seems to care for them more.
But yes of course, my BFF still da best!!!
Okay that's it. I got so many things to vent about. But Im just lazy to vent it out.

让我再重复一次！！
我。不。喜。欢。被。误。会。的。感。觉。
你根本不知道事情的来龙去脉，就在那里冤枉我。
我什么都没做！
什么都是我的错，我不好！满意了吗！
为什么我每次都是中间人。
我也是人，我也会累，我也有感觉，我也有眼泪。
我真的累了。

I feel so annoying, so irritating and stuffs. I really feel likka bitch. Argh. Do you think I want to end up being like that? Okay aside of all this unhappiness matters. Tomorrow is the start of holiday! However, I'm not really excited about it after knowing that I still need to go back to school for the whole first week. So today was quite... Fun I guess. Was having Beijing meeting straight after school at 9! Bonded more than I expected with my group members! All of them were so friendly! Then we need to find the culture of Beijing and then come up with the performance! My group decided to group with shuli's group! (: heheh. Then we started searching for some songs and dance! At first we decided with SHE songs but at the end we changed and did skit! Hahaha hope it goes well laa! And after we done discussing, I realized that we left jiahui alone to do the research on Beijing de! She super smart I swear. LLP ask about anything she also can answer~ hahah cute laa her! And she know my mum, and my mum know her! Okay then I met joy and laymei late after that! Was so guilty at first can!!! Then I rushed down and saw them taking food! LOL. Lucky they not angry with me! Then went to eat with them, in school! FREE FOOD HAHAHA. And the curry super nice! :D Choir then starts at 2! Okay the temp there were really warm and then music room no aircon. Every time music room no aircon HE will pekcek one. Hmm. Then Sop2 were not performing really well today. Almost got solo can :/ Heart almost drop out. AHH. Okay so those that not going to overseas can go home at 3.. Err. So that's for my day! Was super tiring can! Tomorrow still need go bake cookies. Somebody give my energy please! ): And my mum meeting my ou Xiang tomorrow! NERVOUS. Puhlease, I don't want to be the last half in class!!! ): At least position 20? ): GOODLUCK TO MEEEE. (: